Fear came calling today.
Even though he had been many times before, I underestimated his strength still.
With a vice like grip he held me down against my will.
My heart, my eyes, my being screamed to be freed, but Fear did not heed my cries as he stripped me bare. Just like he did many times before, he proceeded to violate me, again and again. And just like before, I quietened and waited for him to finish and begone…..knowing it could take weeks, months, years, eons or my life’s breath.
Soft screams in the dark
Her, Fear’s named partner in crime
Who hated herself
Something was not as before this time. Smaerd was present. Only I aware of him.
As always, he did not intervene. He never does.
Instead, he asked, “do you seek to make him yours or would you continue as you both are?”
With the little strength left in me, I begged of Smaerd to enlighten me.
Truly willing heart
Will one more truth learn always
And truth begets truth
Smaerd said “the bones, flesh and skin on his feet on which he stands strong are made of ‘I can’ts’. You see his muscular upper limbs, they are made of ‘You can’ts’. But his heart, child only if you knew of his heart. His heart is that of a child, needing discipline and easily won. When you believe you can, his heart heeds yours and his feet turns to jelly. He will fall on his knees and his hands must concede to a won heart. Fear left today. My chastity preserved. He says he will visit again…. only when I need him….. to encourage and never to violate….. I say we are buddies now. Smaerd begs to differ.
Her sworn nemesis
He was neither friend nor foe
Till she made him hers
This three layered Haibun post is in response to Colleen’s weekly Tanka Tuesday poetry challenge.
The prompt for this week’s challenge is poet’s choice of words. For this week, I chose the word Fear.